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Column: When have I not had something to say?

I think for once I’m speechless.

Well, maybe not speechless, just worn out. I spend my life in a state of constant semi-agitation over the state of the world, but lately too much debate, or let’s be honest, arguing, both online and in person has left me exhausted.

Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe a political and social detox is in order to reset my equilibrium.

But what will I do with my time?

I’ve just spent a king’s ransom sending my offspring back to school (kid that snuck a $30 binder in the cart, I’m looking at you) so my wallet is a sad, barren wasteland. There’s only so many cookies to be baked before I lose the desire to be the Keebler Elf and I’m already reading as many books as I can handle.

A certain amount of ennui seems to be taking me over. Is this what an early (extra early) mid-life crisis looks like? I don’t feel like I need any more friends or a new hobby or some big flashy purchase to make me happy, but I’m not certain that looking forward to an afternoon nap should be the highlight of my day for at least another 20 years.

Should I not joke about a mid-life crisis? I had an experience recently, while getting a refill on a prescription. During the inane chitchat portion of the appointment I joked that having a kid that’s starting high school means I should probably start lying about my age. Because I’m hilarious. (To myself.)

Subsequent written report of  visit read something the effect of “My kid graduated from eighth grade and I don’t need anyone knowing how old I am.” Because apparently I am not hilarous. (To anyone else.)

If I were to take up a new hobby it probably should be personal restraint and not blurting out every stupid thought that pops into my head. Spoiler alert, not likely it’s going to happen.

I can’t do typical “hobbies” anyway because I can’t sit still and I have no patience. Crafts? Torture. Needlework? No thanks. Painting, singing, music? No talent, sorry. Running? Only if I’m being chased.

I do use my talents for arguing for good though, often standing up for the marginalized, downtrodden or those who don’t speak for themselves. Maybe I should reconsider my moratorium on online engagement.

After all, despite maintaining only moments ago that arguing with people online got me feeling like ughh ... I just got sucked into a contentious issue on a local public forum.

Perhaps for all my complaining, I’ve found my calling after all. 

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