There’s less than a month to go until the scheduled arrival date of baby Yucus, and preparations have reached a fever pitch.

My apologies to the delivery drivers who have been schlepping a non-stop stream of packages to our front door. We’ve got more cardboard boxes than an overstocked moving company (but the cats are pleased, so there’s that).

Getting everything set up and organized for a new baby can be tough, but you know what’s really hard? Picking things out.

There are approximately 27,000 variations of every product aimed towards babies, each with its own indecipherable name and indistinguishable options.

Want a car seat? That means you’ll have to debate the merits of the “4ever DLX 4-in-1” over the “Extend2fit Convertible” or maybe even the “4Ever Extend2Fit 4-in-1.” (These are all real names, from a single company, and believe me when I say — the list goes on, ad infinitum.)

My wife and I thought we had picked out a car seat/stroller combo for a baby shower registry. The only problem was that mere days after making the selection, the model we picked suddenly quit existing in new products listings. It was replaced by a slew of similarly-sounding doppelganger seats, each with a feature set that nearly perfectly matched the original.

It was maddening.

We ended up going with our second choice, from another manufacturer, not necessarily because it was easier to clean or cheaper, or we liked the color more, but because it still existed and we wouldn’t have to think about it ever again.

I’m sure the folks working in Big Baby know how to make a buck better than I. Still, I have to wonder if they’re interested in hiring my fledgling consulting company (Chris Yucus Consulting: Have opinions, will travel). Heck, I’ll even offer up some free advice, just so they can understand the value they’ll receive: NOBODY UNDERSTANDS WHAT YOU’RE DOING, STOP IT!

But enough consulting for today. I’ve got a bassinet, stroller, high chair and who knows what else to assemble — and a stack of empty boxes to take out to the curb for recycling.

Chris Yucus can be contacted at (815) 220-6934 or lifestyle@newstrib.com. Follow him on Twitter: @NT_ChrisYucus.

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Chris Yucus is the NewsTribune Lifestyle Editor. A member of the NewsTribune editorial team since 2011, Chris previously worked as a sports writer and staff photographer for the paper. He can be contacted at lifestyle@newstrib.com.

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