It’s June and you’re going to be a bride. Congratulations!

Picking a location was one of the most important decisions you made. Like many brides, you tuned out the advice of clueless old fogies (your parents) and listened to your Inner Disney Princess. She said: “It’s MY day; I’ll do EXACTLY what I want.” That’s why you’re having an outdoor wedding.

Birds will soar lazily through a blue sky dotted with fluffy clouds, their chirping blending sweetly with your music. A gentle breeze will perfume the 75-degree air with the scent of fresh flowers.

Pfffft. That was always LAST weekend.

Mother Nature has a twisted sense of humor. That’s why the clever bride makes sure she’s ready for anything, with a little help from Peg-Co. Our Wedded (Ignorance Is) Bliss line of wedding favors combines sentiment with practicality to handle whatever Mother Nature throws at you.

We’ve got you covered for:

1) Cold: When it snows in June for the first time in history, Toast The Happy Couple gloves and scarves embroidered with your names will bring this special day to mind long after the feeling returns to your guests’ extremities.

2) Hot: Nothing puts a damper on a wedding like half the guests dropping from heat stroke. When the mercury hits 105 you’ll be glad you ordered Ice, Ice, Baby terry cloth ice-pack covers embroidered with your names. Fill with ice, have guests sling them across the back of their necks, and you’ll have a hot time in the old town tonight.

3) Rain: It’s pouring, but you’re not worried. Personalized Pair-a-sol umbrellas are big enough to protect two guests even when it’s raining cats and dogs.

4) More Rain: It’s been raining for 10 days straight, but you’re covered; you rented our Wedding Ark. What a charming way to ferry guests, two-by-two, across the Lake of Love (formerly the parking lot) to the venue! Rental fee includes the services of Captain Noah.

5) After the Rain: It finally stopped raining, but you’re still bailing out from last week’s downpours. When your site’s lawn has turned to swamp, guests will be thankful for These Boots Were Made For Weddin’ galoshes. Transparent boots personalized with your names slip right over guests’ expensive Jimmy Choos so their 6-inch stilettos don’t turn them into human lawn Jarts. Be sure to pick up some Leg Savers to keep folding chairs from being similarly planted in the saturated ground.

6) Plague: The weather is clear and warm, the ground is firm and dry, the air is sweet smelling and blessedly quiet. Congratulations — your wedding day looks just like you dreamed!

But after all the recent rain and heat, setting foot on the grass is sure to raise swarms of mosquitoes big enough to carry the bride off like the winged monkeys in the Wizard of Oz. (Don’t) Bite Me personalized bottles of Deep Woods Off protect guests from Dengue Fever with the light scent of orange blossom.

Matchbook covers and napkins are all very well and good for a banquet hall reception, but when you move it outside you need to be ready for anything. With Peg-Co’s Wedded (Ignorance Is) Bliss line of products, when Mother Nature asks “Can you take it?” you’ll say, “Dish it out!”

*Peg-Co offers a 10% discount for combination orders. After all, every one of these contingencies is equally likely to happen. Please allow at least six months for personalization and for your parents to get a second mortgage to cover the added cost.

Peg Schulte and her husband, Bill, are agents with Dimond Bros. Insurance in Peru. Her blog, pegoleg.com, has more than 16,000 readers. Blogging platform giant WordPress has chosen her site to be on their shortlist of Recommended Humor Blogs. Peg can be reached at schultef2@yahoo.com.

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